I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
