You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
