Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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