final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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