clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
