I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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