Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My life is pants optional.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize