and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
