You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
