Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
