I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
