You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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