Nicole vs. Life
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
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Did you just see the Batmobile???
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
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I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
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