dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
did i walk over a car last night?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
