i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
