So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just gift wrapped bread.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
