are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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