i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
