in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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