I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
