New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
