He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
