I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
