Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Randomize
