D3 body, D1 cock
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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