The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
