she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
