I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
