Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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