I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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