All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
