He asked to "fluff my boner.."
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
