Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize