Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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