I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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