yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize