I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
