My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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