She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
