Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...

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  (248): I fell asleep on the toilet again last night... http://tfl.nu/rzc7
  Replies (3) Good night (829) Bad night (972)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  im drinking this country out of the recession.

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  (804): im drinking this country out of the recession. http://tfl.nu/s99f
  Replies (23) Good night (2268) Bad night (627)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.

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  (678): I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though. http://tfl.nu/25nt
  Replies (10) Good night (3675) Bad night (1279)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo

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  (860): MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!! (860): I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo http://tfl.nu/vjys
  Replies (14) Good night (8641) Bad night (1186)
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  (332): View more from

  Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her

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  (332): Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her http://tfl.nu/zh80
  Replies (3) Good night (1856) Bad night (624)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies

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  (318): What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies http://tfl.nu/mqvt
  Replies (4) Good night (910) Bad night (1991)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie

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  (803): this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie http://tfl.nu/26xl
  Replies (1) Good night (871) Bad night (433)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.

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  (561): She thinks Jesus was an astronaut. http://tfl.nu/koey
  Replies (11) Good night (1023) Bad night (645)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?

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  (203): Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013? http://tfl.nu/6zdp
  Replies (3) Good night (805) Bad night (535)
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  (914): View more from New York

  She's been drunk for three days now

  (914): View more from New York

  Like three straight days. 72 hours

  (914): View more from New York

  She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey

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  (914): She's been drunk for three days now (914): Like three straight days. 72 hours (914): She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey http://tfl.nu/7xto
  Replies (5) Good night (1059) Bad night (324)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.

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  (570): I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head. http://tfl.nu/umyc
  Replies (4) Good night (594) Bad night (449)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.

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  (412): the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants. http://tfl.nu/nmqh
  Replies (3) Good night (756) Bad night (337)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Are you texting, crying and driving?

  (216): View more from Ohio

  And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.

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  (440): Are you texting, crying and driving? (216): And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment. http://tfl.nu/yoif
  Replies (0) Good night (380) Bad night (555)
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  (756): View more from

  i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry

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  (756): i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry http://tfl.nu/es94
  Replies (4) Good night (774) Bad night (227)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"

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  (339): My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS" http://tfl.nu/4lbd
  Replies (2) Good night (738) Bad night (189)

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