The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.