just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.