i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
