ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
