It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
