i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
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some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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