We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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