who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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