Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
