I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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