I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
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