P.S. I can't hear my feet
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize