He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
