I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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