there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
