Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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