I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
