i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
