Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
