Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
