Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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